What’s the deal with Stonehenge?

Or rather, why the hell is my home named after a prehistoric pile of rocks?

Answer: Music Majors.

Unbeknownst to me and Meg, the other princesses sat around imbibing one night, and decided that our apartment needed a name. Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the ritual of naming things of value — I name my cars, for instance, but don’t you think that should be a decision that  ALL the roommates would be involved with?

Nope.

So, after this night of drunken laughter and debauchery, Meg and I are casually and indirectly informed of this preposterous christening of 94 Walker. Of course, having been left out of this decision, we are instantly defiant and repulsed (as a matter of principle, but also because “Stonehenge” is moronic). When we ask for an explanation through gritted teeth, we are answered with stifled laughter and choking replies of “there’s this song” and “you had to be there.”

See “this song” below:

Yeah. That song is why the ENTIRE music department now knows about our apartment. How music majors appreciate such idiocy is beyond me, but we are now the talk of a significantly large group of people (people who play ukuleles and sing in the living room at 2:30am). This dubbing of 94 Walker has also been a catalyst for incessant vomit-inducing snap chat stories citing the “Stonehenge Trio” (Snow White, Ariel, and Jasmine). More about that later.

Anyways, Ariel tried to create a colorful poster explaining the name – to hang on the wall upstairs (it would go very nicely with Snow White’s classy Mardi Gras beads hanging all over the the banister), but she left her work unattended for a number of weeks, so finally in a fit of pre-my-roommates-don’t-clean-rage-strike I destroyed it with great satisfaction. Do not tangle with me.

As one of our dear friends (we’ll call her Rapunzel) said last night, Meg is “passive aggressive” and Belle is “aggressive-aggressive.” Mess with the bull Belle and you’ll get the horns because….

xoxoBelle

Wait, what?

Ariel: You guys should totally come help at [event she’s attending and coordinating in the middle of the afternoon] tomorrow!

Meg: I have work.

Belle: Me too.

Ariel: Oh yeah, you have work tomorrow…

Meg: Every day, Ariel. Every goddamn day.

~ Meg

The Strike

Congratulations are in order. It’s official. Meg and Belle are on strike.

After months of being the only two taking out the trash/recycling (including emptying barrels, dragging barrels to and from curb), replenishing paper goods supplies (toilet paper, paper towels, etc…), and furnishing community spaces with other essentials we have both banded together and decided it’s time the other princesses step up and pitch in.

Let’s call it a social experiment of sorts.

We’ve tried taking a step back in the past, but have become so bothered by the disgusting messes that we’ve caved and ended up doing ALL THE THINGS. Because apparently overflowing barrels, lack of paper goods, and general untidiness only bothers the two of us.

Not this time. We will not cave. We will be resilient!!

I wish I could say I had faith in the others to know how to take out the trash and clean up, but honestly I’m not getting my hopes up.

~ Meg

Translation

What Snow White says: I left these avocados out on the counter! They’re for everyone! Peace and love!!

What Snow White means: I am relinquishing responsibility for these and having everyone else take equal ownership so when they go bad and attract a swarm of miniature fruit flies I don’t have to throw them away.

~ Meg

An Ode to Drain Hair

Hair sits in the tub
It is unsanitary
Clean up goddamnit

Tuesday, 2:30am

*Roommates come home from a night out and congregate in living room. The same living room that Belle and Meg’s individual bedrooms surround. Loud chatter and general rowdiness commences. At 2:30am. On a Tuesday.*

This wouldn’t be an issue if Belle and I were on the other floor with our rooms separate from the common space….but that’s a tale for another time.

Belle ended up saying something to the effect of, “Guys, it’s 2am. I have to work in the morning. I’m sorry but you keep waking me up. Like it’s 2 in the morning.” Basically saying, “Really, now?”

Ariel said she was sorry and they all wrapped up, turned off the lights and retired for the night shortly after.

It’s funny because Ariel had apologized to me earlier too when I inadvertently closed my door much louder than I intended (as if I were passive aggressively telling them to keep it down. Not this time). She’s a sweetheart and I felt bad. But then again it stopped the noise so…..?

I wonder what will happen the next time they decide to bring the party home.

~ Meg

 

The Blueberries Incident

Oh, the blueberries. Just another classic entry into the canon that is the chronicle of living with a shitty roommate. Let’s begin.

I had just got in from grocery shopping and was unpacking my bags when Snow White entered the kitchen. This was before I couldn’t stand the sight of her or the sound of her high-pitched, sickly (and falsely) sweet voice.

After making small talk for the sake of small talk (not by choice. I happen to quite enjoy comfortable silence), she noticed that I had purchased two cartons of blueberries. She decided to exclaim, “I love blueberries!”

Fast forward to a couple days later.

I come home from work ready for a snack. And because I was trying to be a stable, healthy (almost) adult I planned on eating the aforementioned blueberries with some Greek yogurt. I lead an exciting life.

I open the fridge grab my cartons and much to my horror find this:

 I hadn’t even opened them yet or eaten a single berry….

Though I had no concrete proof I knew precisely who the culprit was (or at least who I wanted it to be).

A high-pitched voice echoed in my mind.

I love blueberries.

It couldn’t have been anyone else. Not just because of my Law & Order-esque revelation, but also because at this time we were the only two living at the apartment. No one else had moved in yet so it had to be her.

I immediately texted Belle and shared my frustration and accusation. Photo evidence and all. She suggested that I send something to the group message we were all a part of.

I wrote up something to the effect of me working full-time and paying for all my expenses blah blah blah. The usual stuff. Along with the picture. To further illustrate my point, I referenced the roommate agreement we all agreed to. You know, the part about if you didn’t buy it don’t eat/drink it?

Because I’m an (almost) adult and know how to read and keep promises.

Send.

And I waited. And waited.

Shockingly, she confessed and owned up to it.

The sweet satisfaction of being right.

She offered to replace the berries to which I curtly replied, “That won’t be necessary. Thank you.”

This was simply the first of many offenses she would commit. And trust me, they get much worse.

Thanks for reading and laughing with me!

~ Meg

Shower Caddy?

Belle: *walks into upstairs bathroom*

Belle: *sees Snow White’s products all over the counter and sink*

Belle: *instant rage, tempted to flip a table*

Belle: *grabs market basket bag. aggressively shoves all products into bag. ties bag in bow. leaves bag outside bathroom door.*

Belle: *showers in peace*

Belle: *goes downstairs after cleaning up after herself*

Snow White: *speaks in high pitched voice reminiscent of Professor Umbridge*
“Oh! I’m sorry, I’ve been meaning to star using a shower caddy! It has been just me and       Meg here, so I didn’t think I needed to yet. But, don’t worry! I’ll start using one!”

Belle: *showing great self restraint* “Oh! That’s okay, I moved everything for you while I was cleaning! Your stuff is in a bag outside the bathroom door!”

Belle: *exits to bedroom*

Belle: *smug, cheshire cat smile*

 

xoxoBelle

The Roommate Agreement

Below, you shall find a copy of our official “Roommate Agreement.” I have included this for context and for future reference. All six of us “agreed” to abide by these rules; however, the effectiveness of this agreement is frankly quite debatable.

xoxoBelle

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Bathrooms

Everyone will use the shower caddy system (i.e. don’t leave stuff cluttering up bathrooms). This way people can use whatever bathroom is open freely!

Public Spaces

Please leave the bathrooms, kitchen, and living room the way you found it so it’s neat and tidy for the next person! These spaces are for everyone 🙂

Food

If it’s not yours then don’t eat/drink it. Unless someone said, “Help yourself!” then go for it!

Friends/Guests/Visitors (*Depends on the situation*)

Sunday-Thursday → 3 or more people after 9:00pm must be run by roommates.

Friday-Saturday → 3 or more people after Midnight must be run by roommates.

This is especially important with regard to overnight guests who are sleeping in the common area/living room.

5 or more people invited? Give roommates at least 3 days notice.

Bills, Bills, Bills

Rent

As far as rent is concerned, individual roommates are responsible for working with **** and establishing a system for paying her that works best for them (check, cash, money order, etc… )

Utilities

Each month, the point person assigned to each utility is responsible for collecting and paying their respective bill. For example, **** is electric and is responsible for collecting payment from roommates and paying the bill.

In order to give us a safe grace period, everyone must give the point person their payment at least one week before the bill is due. For example, if the bill is due January 8th the point person should have everyone’s payment by January 1st.

This is so we have plenty of time to collect and post the bill in a timely manner.

 

Privacy

Do not go into someone else’s room without their permission. This seems like common sense, but it’s extremely important for everyone’s comfort and privacy!

In the Beginning

And so begins the story of six females (in their early twenties) living together under one roof.

Names have been changed to protect privacy and identities, but I now present the ladies of 94 Walker:

Belle – college graduate, B.A. in English, B.S. in Business, receptionist/content writer/marketing assistant/website administrator
Meg – college graduate, B.A. in English, sales/marketing coordinator, improvisational extraordinaire
Ariel – Music Ed. major, peacekeeper, free spirited, opera-singing hippie
Merida – Theater Arts major, big hearted, loud-laughing, irish woman
Jasmine – Music major, gorgeous Italian, fierce and feisty beauty

….and then there’s Snow White.

I would give her a brief bio, but this blog is about her, after all. You’ll see her colors as we share our chronicles.

xoxo Belle