C.R.A.P.

Jasmine has officially joined the crew of revolting angry princesses. A.K.A. CRAP Squad – lead by you royal highnesses, Belle and Meg, the Trash Queens.

Meg even made us these beautiful crowns.

Anyway, in light of the mouse incident the other night, Jasmine decided to take a stand against the behaviors of our disgusting roommates.

Meg and I were thrilled, as you can see from our praise hands. At last, the CRAP squad had majority! We finally had the numbers to (theoretically) combat the fifth of the troll and her mysterious dining concoctions.

We got the usual bullshit affirmations from the others, followed by yet another mouse incident (Merida “trapped” it in the bathroom…), and the brief fridge discussion I already covered…before the drama continued.

You would think that between Jasmine and Meg the problem would be solved…but Meg still came home to this:

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No joke.

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….which gave her a wonderful idea!

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Yup, she actually did it.

Which lead to Merida’s appropriate response:

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Where does that leave us, you ask?

Well, tomorrow is trash day and the recycling bin looks like this:

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Meg and I are still not buying communal goods.
There is no toilet paper (except our private stashes).
There are no paper towels.
There are no paper plates.
There is no hand soap (ew).

…and now pots and pans may only be used with Merida’s permission.

It looks like the CRAP Squad still has a lot of work to do *sigh.*

We are the Trash Queens. Long may we reign. May we sit upon our thrones forever.

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AND THE BEST PART IS …. I’M NOT EVEN HOME THIS WEEK.

xoxo Belle

 

Are we princesses, or elephants?

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Goodness gracious….

Guys. It’s a mouse not an alligator.

At this point Belle and I are beyond the point of disbelief at the immaturity and just want people to act like adults. Or pretend to. Fake it. We’re not picky. Just don’t overreact over stupid nonsense.

Then again. Some of these people clearly grew up with their parents sheltering them from the horrors of cleaning their own dishes, turning off the lights, and wiping down the sink. So I guess the fact that they had to see a common, nondescript pest with their own two eyes was a little traumatic for them.

And not for nothing, but pretending you’re on MasterChef and leaving dirty dishes in both sides of the sink for several days after your culinary experiments isn’t exactly keeping the pests away. Just saying.

~Meg

Should I laugh, or should I cry?

THE END IS NIGH. SOUND THE ALARMS. THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN.

In other words, someone other than Meg or Belle “took out the trash.”

I use the phrase loosely and have it in quotes because I’m not sure if what happened last night counts as taking out the trash in my book.

Ariel sent something to the group message sharing that she and Snow White took out the trash and recycling.

Miracles do happen, people.

Though I have a funny feeling it really meant Ariel took out the trash and Snow White watched. She must be a visual learner. Or lazy. Or both.

And because I have nothing better to occupy my time or thoughts with other than the state of cleanliness in our apartment (only slightly sarcastic here), I raced downstairs to see this wonder. Only to have my hopes dashed…

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Wait, what?

But, it’s…it’s still full? And there’s cardboard on the floor.

Poor Ariel. I don’t blame her for not knowing how the human world operates. She also mentioned that we have to separate our trash from the recycling because some trash was mixed in with the bottles, cans, etc…

*deep breath* We know. Because after Snow White filled the trash barrel, she switched over to the recycling barrel.

I immediately texted Belle saying, “You see this shit?”

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And then proceeded to rip up all the goddamn cardboard (an excellent stress reliever!) AND take out the full bag of trash.

This action made Belle, in her own words, LOVE AND HATE ME ALL AT ONCE.

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We are the trash queens. Long may we reign.

~ Meg

Follow Up to “Casual Wednesday Night”

I am in complete agreement with Belle’s last post. We were texting in full on RAGE mode late last night.

So much so that I even went as far as to make the extreme suggestion that we remove ALL barrels from the house in order to force people to bring their trash to the outdoor barrels.

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I also sent a helpful message to the group chat.

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Because this:

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Makes Belle and I turn into this:

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~ Meg

Casual Wednesday Night

Did the three little pigs move in upstairs? Because this place is a fucking dump.

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I got home on a WEDNESDAY night, around 10:15pm, and not only is there company over again (for the third WEEKnight in a row), but the apartment is an utter shit hole. No, but really, for princesses these girls are total and complete slobs.

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I guess it’s to be expected when you grow up with servants or little birds and rodents and crabs doing all your chores for you.

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I’m sorry, your highness, but is it that difficult to walk down a goddamn flight of stairs and dump your shit into a bigger barrel?

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HOW DO YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER WHEN THE PLACE LOOKS LIKE THIS!?!

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

tina fey

xoxoBelle