C.R.A.P.

Jasmine has officially joined the crew of revolting angry princesses. A.K.A. CRAP Squad – lead by you royal highnesses, Belle and Meg, the Trash Queens.

Meg even made us these beautiful crowns.

Anyway, in light of the mouse incident the other night, Jasmine decided to take a stand against the behaviors of our disgusting roommates.

Meg and I were thrilled, as you can see from our praise hands. At last, the CRAP squad had majority! We finally had the numbers to (theoretically) combat the fifth of the troll and her mysterious dining concoctions.

We got the usual bullshit affirmations from the others, followed by yet another mouse incident (Merida “trapped” it in the bathroom…), and the brief fridge discussion I already covered…before the drama continued.

You would think that between Jasmine and Meg the problem would be solved…but Meg still came home to this:

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No joke.

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….which gave her a wonderful idea!

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Yup, she actually did it.

Which lead to Merida’s appropriate response:

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Where does that leave us, you ask?

Well, tomorrow is trash day and the recycling bin looks like this:

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Meg and I are still not buying communal goods.
There is no toilet paper (except our private stashes).
There are no paper towels.
There are no paper plates.
There is no hand soap (ew).

…and now pots and pans may only be used with Merida’s permission.

It looks like the CRAP Squad still has a lot of work to do *sigh.*

We are the Trash Queens. Long may we reign. May we sit upon our thrones forever.

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AND THE BEST PART IS …. I’M NOT EVEN HOME THIS WEEK.

xoxo Belle

 

Are we princesses, or elephants?

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Goodness gracious….

Guys. It’s a mouse not an alligator.

At this point Belle and I are beyond the point of disbelief at the immaturity and just want people to act like adults. Or pretend to. Fake it. We’re not picky. Just don’t overreact over stupid nonsense.

Then again. Some of these people clearly grew up with their parents sheltering them from the horrors of cleaning their own dishes, turning off the lights, and wiping down the sink. So I guess the fact that they had to see a common, nondescript pest with their own two eyes was a little traumatic for them.

And not for nothing, but pretending you’re on MasterChef and leaving dirty dishes in both sides of the sink for several days after your culinary experiments isn’t exactly keeping the pests away. Just saying.

~Meg

Follow Up to “Casual Wednesday Night”

I am in complete agreement with Belle’s last post. We were texting in full on RAGE mode late last night.

So much so that I even went as far as to make the extreme suggestion that we remove ALL barrels from the house in order to force people to bring their trash to the outdoor barrels.

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I also sent a helpful message to the group chat.

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Because this:

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Makes Belle and I turn into this:

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~ Meg

What’s the deal with Stonehenge?

Or rather, why the hell is my home named after a prehistoric pile of rocks?

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Answer: Music Majors.

Unbeknownst to me and Meg, the other princesses sat around imbibing one night, and decided that our apartment needed a name. Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the ritual of naming things of value — I name my cars, for instance, but don’t you think that should be a decision that  ALL the roommates would be involved with?

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Nope.

So, after this night of drunken laughter and debauchery, Meg and I are casually and indirectly informed of this preposterous christening of 94 Walker. Of course, having been left out of this decision, we are instantly defiant and repulsed (as a matter of principle, but also because “Stonehenge” is moronic). When we ask for an explanation through gritted teeth, we are answered with stifled laughter and choking replies of “there’s this song” and “you had to be there.”

See “this song” below:

Yeah. That song is why the ENTIRE music department now knows about our apartment. How music majors appreciate such idiocy is beyond me, but we are now the talk of a significantly large group of people (people who play ukuleles and sing in the living room at 2:30am). This dubbing of 94 Walker has also been a catalyst for incessant vomit-inducing snap chat stories citing the “Stonehenge Trio” (Snow White, Ariel, and Jasmine). More about that later.

Anyways, Ariel tried to create a colorful poster explaining the name – to hang on the wall upstairs (it would go very nicely with Snow White’s classy Mardi Gras beads hanging all over the the banister), but she left her work unattended for a number of weeks, so finally in a fit of pre-my-roommates-don’t-clean-rage-strike I destroyed it with great satisfaction. Do not tangle with me.

As one of our dear friends (we’ll call her Rapunzel) said last night, Meg is “passive aggressive” and Belle is “aggressive-aggressive.” Mess with the bull Belle and you’ll get the horns because….

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xoxoBelle

Tuesday, 2:30am

*Roommates come home from a night out and congregate in living room. The same living room that Belle and Meg’s individual bedrooms surround. Loud chatter and general rowdiness commences. At 2:30am. On a Tuesday.*

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This wouldn’t be an issue if Belle and I were on the other floor with our rooms separate from the common space….but that’s a tale for another time.

Belle ended up saying something to the effect of, “Guys, it’s 2am. I have to work in the morning. I’m sorry but you keep waking me up. Like it’s 2 in the morning.” Basically saying, “Really, now?”

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Ariel said she was sorry and they all wrapped up, turned off the lights and retired for the night shortly after.

It’s funny because Ariel had apologized to me earlier too when I inadvertently closed my door much louder than I intended (as if I were passive aggressively telling them to keep it down. Not this time). She’s a sweetheart and I felt bad. But then again it stopped the noise so…..?

I wonder what will happen the next time they decide to bring the party home.

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~ Meg

 

In the Beginning

And so begins the story of six females (in their early twenties) living together under one roof.

Names have been changed to protect privacy and identities, but I now present the ladies of 94 Walker:

Belle – college graduate, B.A. in English, B.S. in Business, receptionist/content writer/marketing assistant/website administrator
Meg – college graduate, B.A. in English, sales/marketing coordinator, improvisational extraordinaire
Ariel – Music Ed. major, peacekeeper, free spirited, opera-singing hippie
Merida – Theater Arts major, big hearted, loud-laughing, irish woman
Jasmine – Music major, gorgeous Italian, fierce and feisty beauty

….and then there’s Snow White.

I would give her a brief bio, but this blog is about her, after all. You’ll see her colors as we share our chronicles.

xoxo Belle