C.R.A.P.

Jasmine has officially joined the crew of revolting angry princesses. A.K.A. CRAP Squad – lead by you royal highnesses, Belle and Meg, the Trash Queens.

Meg even made us these beautiful crowns.

Anyway, in light of the mouse incident the other night, Jasmine decided to take a stand against the behaviors of our disgusting roommates.

Meg and I were thrilled, as you can see from our praise hands. At last, the CRAP squad had majority! We finally had the numbers to (theoretically) combat the fifth of the troll and her mysterious dining concoctions.

We got the usual bullshit affirmations from the others, followed by yet another mouse incident (Merida “trapped” it in the bathroom…), and the brief fridge discussion I already covered…before the drama continued.

You would think that between Jasmine and Meg the problem would be solved…but Meg still came home to this:

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No joke.

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….which gave her a wonderful idea!

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Yup, she actually did it.

Which lead to Merida’s appropriate response:

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Where does that leave us, you ask?

Well, tomorrow is trash day and the recycling bin looks like this:

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Meg and I are still not buying communal goods.
There is no toilet paper (except our private stashes).
There are no paper towels.
There are no paper plates.
There is no hand soap (ew).

…and now pots and pans may only be used with Merida’s permission.

It looks like the CRAP Squad still has a lot of work to do *sigh.*

We are the Trash Queens. Long may we reign. May we sit upon our thrones forever.

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AND THE BEST PART IS …. I’M NOT EVEN HOME THIS WEEK.

xoxo Belle

 

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Are we princesses, or elephants?

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Goodness gracious….

Guys. It’s a mouse not an alligator.

At this point Belle and I are beyond the point of disbelief at the immaturity and just want people to act like adults. Or pretend to. Fake it. We’re not picky. Just don’t overreact over stupid nonsense.

Then again. Some of these people clearly grew up with their parents sheltering them from the horrors of cleaning their own dishes, turning off the lights, and wiping down the sink. So I guess the fact that they had to see a common, nondescript pest with their own two eyes was a little traumatic for them.

And not for nothing, but pretending you’re on MasterChef and leaving dirty dishes in both sides of the sink for several days after your culinary experiments isn’t exactly keeping the pests away. Just saying.

~Meg

The Refrigerator Saga: No Food

We at the lovely and luxurious 94 Walker have now been without a working full-sized refrigerator for over a month (approximately 7 weeks now). We (as well as our downstairs neighbors for some reason…) received this text today.

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Contrary to our lease agreement, our landlord has been the point person for the repair work throughout this process. She has contacted the store/manufacturer and has reluctantly been the person at the apartment to greet the repairman at each visit (yes, there have been multiple). She’s kind of odd sometimes, but she’s overall awesome.

It all started back in July. It was one of those heat waves that suck the life out of you and make you feel like you’re stuck to yourself. Our fridge was packed full with miscellaneous perishable belongings, and it was in dire need of a purging/cleaning. Over the course of a few days, we started to notice food was going bad too early, milk was curdling, Snow White’s tofu was exploding etc.

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(the aforementioned tofu…also, yes-we-keep-wine-in-our-crisper-what-of-it?)

As the only adult in the apartment with any sort of handiwork/household knowledge (no offense meant to Meg —  I just simply grew up in an old home with quirks), I have become the point person for any technical/electric/plumbing failures.

Meg uses hairdryer while Merida’s AC is on …
*Belle shows roommates how to locate and use circuit breaker*

Toilet wont stop running…
*Belle tells roommates to jiggle the handle*

Refrigerator stops working…
*Belle gets out tool box and takes part of the fridge apart and determines which part is broken — only for the repairman to confirm this fact a week later*

….but I digress…

So, as the repair point person in the house, I contacted our landlord about the fridge. She contacted the repair company, and they set a day and time to come out to the apartment. As I said before, our landlord has been the one at the house to greet the repairman, because apparently no one is able to be home during the day (whether they are actually at work or not is truly debatable…can you sense my shock and disbelief?).

Each time repair work is done, a text goes out from our landlord (ironically to everyone except Snow White). Everyone chimes in saying they can’t be there, and she grudgingly rearranges her own schedule. This has happened at least three times over the last few weeks.

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Meg, Merida, Rapunzel, and I cleaned out the fridge in preparation for the handyman, then Meg, as a respectable, sanitary human being, decided that the fridge malfunction was the perfect opportunity for a deep clean.

(the top are before *obviously* and the bottom are after – she’s a sassy angel)

Anyway, after weeks of abusing our bank accounts from constant takeout, we finally put on our thinking caps and realized we had a dorm fridge sitting on right next to the full-sized one that I’ve been meaning to take away (my procrastination paid off for once). So now we have miscellaneous goods shoved in there short term, and a freezer packed full with things that normally shouldn’t be frozen (like beer).

There must be more than this provincial life!

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Hopefully this first-world torture will shortly come to an end…next week. Stay tuned.

xoxoBelle

Follow Up to “Casual Wednesday Night”

I am in complete agreement with Belle’s last post. We were texting in full on RAGE mode late last night.

So much so that I even went as far as to make the extreme suggestion that we remove ALL barrels from the house in order to force people to bring their trash to the outdoor barrels.

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I also sent a helpful message to the group chat.

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Because this:

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Makes Belle and I turn into this:

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~ Meg

Casual Wednesday Night

Did the three little pigs move in upstairs? Because this place is a fucking dump.

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I got home on a WEDNESDAY night, around 10:15pm, and not only is there company over again (for the third WEEKnight in a row), but the apartment is an utter shit hole. No, but really, for princesses these girls are total and complete slobs.

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I guess it’s to be expected when you grow up with servants or little birds and rodents and crabs doing all your chores for you.

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I’m sorry, your highness, but is it that difficult to walk down a goddamn flight of stairs and dump your shit into a bigger barrel?

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HOW DO YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER WHEN THE PLACE LOOKS LIKE THIS!?!

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

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xoxoBelle

Oh yeah? You wanna know what I think?!

Flashback to when we first moved in. Belle had not yet arrived so for the time being it was just myself, Snow White, and occasionally Merida.

One night I was in my room and just starting to put up decorations when Merida invited some of our mutual friends over. Since we didn’t have any living room furniture at the time hanging out in my room was the most logical option.

Things were going great. I multi-tasked while catching up with everyone and what their plans were for the summer.

Then Snow White decided to grace us with her presence.

“Knock knock,” she said as she walked in the room.

Um, okay.

Real talk. She obviously felt like she had the right to include herself with my friends and have access to my extra comfy seating. Whatever. Both Belle and I think it’s also because everyone (including her) quickly realized that I ended up drawing for and winning the best room (fair and square).

Kind of like when we all found out my room had access to an outdoor porch space, and Snow White brilliantly asked, “So, what are we gonna do about the porch?”

We, bitch?

It hasn’t been brought up since. Except for those rare occasions when a package is dropped off on the porch instead of front door for some odd reason.

But I digress.

After a little bit. it was starting to get late and I had work the next morning because I am an (almost) adult. And, like normal, considerate fucking people, Merida and our friends said good night and left.

Before this, Snow White had stepped out of the room.

Assuming that I was going to be alone, I started gathering my toiletries so I could shower and wind down for the night.

NOPE.

Apparently, Snow White had other plans.

Just as I was about to exit my room, shower caddy and towel in hand, she barges back in with a fresh cup of tea.

The fuck….

Maybe it was because she had no social graces. Maybe it was because she was clueless. Maybe it’s Maybelline. Who knows!

The point is, I was clearly not entertaining anymore and she had to leave.

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Trying to not be a total bitch, I tried to subtly clue her in that I was going to be retiring soon and she should leave.

“I think I’m going to take a shower…” I said. HINT HINT.

“Okay. I think I’m going to sit here,” she replied.

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Oh? Are you now? The sheer fucking nerve.

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Who did this bitch think she was?

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So what do I do because (at this point) I was too nice?

I LEAVE MY ROOM AND LET HER SIT IN THERE ON MY COMFY CHAIR. AHHHHH.

Luckily, her dad showed up soon after to drop off some things. During this time I discretely snuck out of the bathroom and firmly closed my door.

No more tea time for you, bitch.

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~ Meg

In the Beginning

And so begins the story of six females (in their early twenties) living together under one roof.

Names have been changed to protect privacy and identities, but I now present the ladies of 94 Walker:

Belle – college graduate, B.A. in English, B.S. in Business, receptionist/content writer/marketing assistant/website administrator
Meg – college graduate, B.A. in English, sales/marketing coordinator, improvisational extraordinaire
Ariel – Music Ed. major, peacekeeper, free spirited, opera-singing hippie
Merida – Theater Arts major, big hearted, loud-laughing, irish woman
Jasmine – Music major, gorgeous Italian, fierce and feisty beauty

….and then there’s Snow White.

I would give her a brief bio, but this blog is about her, after all. You’ll see her colors as we share our chronicles.

xoxo Belle